Dear neighbor, I have bad news,
It’s about your precious cat;
He will not be coming home,
No more kitty pitter pat.
You see, he wandered into my yard
The retarded little beast,
And my dogs had him for lunch,
He made such a lovely feast!
They first took him by the neck,
Shook him senseless in the ground;
Then my pit bull intervened,
And your kitty was uncrowned!
Two of them fought for his head
Three others played tug of war;
And my beagle must have won –
Brought the body to my door!
I had tried to break it up,
But I was a bit too late;
By the time I got to them
All four legs had done been ate!
So I took what then remained –
Just some guts, muscle and bone –
And I threw it in the trash
(It was more like “placed” than “thrown”)
Then I hosed down all the blood
That was spilled there on the ground
And we played fetch with his head,
Me and all my lovely hounds!
Now, I realize you’re stunned
And you prob’ly feel sad
But I too will miss your cat –
He was the most fun we have had!
Last Modified: February 19, 2014 at 08:53 pm
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